i’m having one of those days

If you’re looking for inspiration today, you won’t find it here.

I’m having one of those moments. Where I have a lot I want to say but nothing seems to come out right. Like … I want to tell the lady who just made my coffee she burnt it and that I want a new one. But the words don’t seem to want to come out. Ok that’s a bad example but you get what I mean. I’m just in this weird space.

Since starting up this blog and since sharing my love of story telling with the world, I’ve come across a lot of people who have stories they want to tell. Which is so exciting for me but it’s also a little daunting too.

Over the weekend I had a really big distinction. Actually I’ve already told you what the distinction is (I told you my writing is out of whack today!). After working with Mike Harris I discovered that my first love is NOT photography. And those who know me will probably think this is pretty obvious because I never pick up the camera and I don’t even own an SLR.

My first love is actually story telling. Real stories, fake stories, in-between real and fake stories. I love them all. I think I have this karmic relationship with ‘being misunderstood’. Not that I feel misunderstood by others (or maybe I do but I’m in denial) but … I often feel people are misunderstood. Or another way to put is … I often feel people are neglected or ignored. Not consciously. And neglected and ignored aren’t the right words either. I just feel so often when we meet someone we only see the surface. We never get to hear their story or stories.

Just to clarify I’m not someone who promotes living in the past though I do think it’s worth acknowledging because sometimes when you hear someone’s past, your view of them completely changes. That’s what I mean about being misunderstood. We never get to know who we are talking to unless we know their story.

What sparked these thoughts
I have a friend who for now will remain anonymous, that I catch up with every couple of weeks. We always have a good laugh and a couple of drinks and I always feel great after catching up with her. It was only until recently when we were both intoxicated did we both talk about things that mattered to us. Like stuff that really mattered … ie. stuff that sometimes haunts our psyche (hopefully she was so drunk she won’t remember any of it) but I did walk away from that night thinking, how come it took me so long to discover these things?

My love for story telling is urging me to look deeper into the people and stories around me. The stories within myself. And the scary thing is a lot of the stories aren’t true. Well they were, but they aren’t any more but my psyche is still holding onto them (did I mention I’m having trouble explaining myself today???????).

Embracing both the light and dark side of stories
What I’m discovering is, it doesn’t matter if the stories are true or not. And it doesn’t matter if they are happy or sad stories because I have both. I fantasise about both. I fantasise about meeting the man of my dreams and then I fantasise about breaking up with devastatingly. Which story I love more I don’t know because I haven’t lived either yet both stories are rooted my psyche … weird isn’t it? (did I mention I am in weird space today?????).

What’s the big point?
Stories evoke emotion and I want to explore the complex feelings that come up through our real and fake stories. As humans we have the ability to empathise and sympathise and each time we connect with another person’s story it takes us closer to our own. We become more ourselves by exploring the stories of others. I think that’s why I love this new hobby of mine. I’m hoping by sharing the stories and photographs of other people, I’m helping you (and me) feel something we have forgotten … whatever that may be (good, bad or indifferent). Am I making any sense? I hope someone gets me!

Can I ask you to do me a favour?
Think back to your favourite movies and favourite books. What did you love most about them and what scenes do you remember? What were the characters expressing and in turn what were you feeling? The stories you are attracted to will give you insight into the story you want to tell … and if you feel compelled to, please send me an email with the answers. I’d love to know how these stories have impacted you. There is no judgment on my part. Just an exchanging of stories … real or fake, good or bad … it does not matter.

Here are some of my favourites movies …

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Comments
6 Responses to “i’m having one of those days”
  1. natalja says:

    yes you make sense when you write. i hope you will have ” one of these days’ more often. your writing is so real. you are yourself without pretending to be ” somebody”. keep writing and sharing.

  2. Jo says:

    Thao – this was a great blog – loved it and yes I’ll send my fav stories to you tmrw although i think you might know what they are 🙂 xx

  3. gu says:

    Great to see u r blogging your mind / thoughts… Interesting read …. But I don’t get it?? Because I’m a boy??… Because I am too straight forward?? simple minded? or u don’t make sense?? Hehe keep up the blogs! And ill continue reading …

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